Do you have bad luck?

Throughout my life I always knew that there was something wrong with me. However, I’m not talking mentally or physically. I’m talking about my luck. No matter what the theme is, I always end up somehow getting screwed in the worst way possible–be it with a relationship, money, friends, work, or hell, a radar detector. Yet with that bad luck, I always happen to come across it with good luck or something. It’s rather annoying.

As I wrote about earlier this month, my car’s transmission decided to die on me despite the fact that it was fixed in February (and that was the 2nd time. The first time was in November 2005, and I had paid $2400 for it to be fixed then.) Partially I blame myself for taking it to Paul’s Brake and Auto (when I find the number, I’ll post it here so you can call the place and leave incoherent voicemails!) because his shop is the main reason for the transmission going out again. They were supposed to replace a cracked casing, that I was charged for, but ended up just using some sort of mechanic glue to “fix” it. Not only that but they broke the coolant switch, so this entire time I’ve been driving with no coolant fans, or a working gauge to tell me when it’s overheating.

Fast forward to four weeks ago when the transmission finally gave out. Took it to a shop out in Alsip (Illinois) where I had taken in a previous car, a 1988 Chrysler Lebaron Covertable Turbo, to get its transmission fixed (mind you this was about 2003?) Finally I get a call that my car can be picked up on Tuesday. My dad drives me up there to pick it up, we pay $2535.10 to receive the car, and Tony (the owner) shows us exactly what Paul’s Brake and Auto had fucked up and had not fixed. Said he’ll hold onto the trans for us, since we’ll be sending Mr. Paul the charges he gave to us, for shit he didn’t do.

I drive away three blocks to a BP to get some gas, since I was on empty. After I’m done, I fiddle with my iPod so I’ve got some tunes to rock out to, and the tape goes wonky on me. I figure the tape was going to die (because I hate the Monster Cable I have, the radio frequencies out here are almost all used, so using the FM transmitter is kind of pointless) so I took out the tape. But the radio is wonky as well, so I’m thinking “WTF?” Then my car dies.

How is this possible?! I turn the key, and I get a clicking noise. Engine doesn’t want to turn over. By the way my car was acting, I knew the battery was dead… Or rather I hoped it was just the battery that was dead. So I called dad and he said Tony would be over to jump the car. He goes to jump it with his portable battery, and the car seems fine. As he gets back into his car, my car dies. So after twenty minutes of the car charging and dying they decide to bring it back to the shop.

Since they didn’t want to tow it, they put the battery under the hood, and closed the hood. I’m sure they figured since it was only 3 blocks away, it wouldn’t cause too much harm to do that. I rode in the second car (another guy had come out, so we were in his car, while he drove mine), and as we were about two doors from their shop, my hood flew up. what. the flying. fuck.

I find out that:

1. The windshield is cracked beyond repair.
2. The hood is badly dented.
3. The alternator is dead.. Wait… WHAT?!

So, it wasn’t bad enough that Paul’s shop is in Clarksville (Indiana) where I used to live. But the alternator which I had to have replaced in June, was while I was driving to Houston. The place that replaced the alternator is in fucking Hope, ARKANSAS!

If you don’t know where that’s it, it’s in towards the south-western part of NOWHERE Arkansas. Or about 30 minutes from Texarkana/Texas border. Or the home of Bill Clinton. Or the land of the shitty auto mechanics. Or the land of where Jordan broke down on I-30 at 10:30 at night, and took a crap on the side of the rode with semi’s driving by because she was freaking out over the dead vehicle.

So let’s recap:

• Paul’s Transmission: $2400
• Pual’s 2nd Transmission: $0 (under warranty)
• Arkansas Alternator: $450 (shush, I know I got raped)
• Elite Transmission: $2535.10
• Elite Windsheild: No Charge
• Elite Alternator: No charged, traded for keeping my fucked hood.
• Total asspounding cost: $5,385
• Total I paid for the car: $6,000

Now that my friends, that is bad luck at it’s best.