A not so Happy New Year

Saturday morning I received horrible news that my best friend of 17 years had lost her father. Since early October he had been extremely ill due to the malfunction of his liver. He had been in and out of the hospital for months, and went back into ICU care the week of Christmas. There were hopes that he could make it. We finally found out that he was going to be put onto a transplant list, and that provided his health got better, he might actually make it.

I’ve never truly known what all entails of a liver transplant, or hell, any transplant. Amy told me the details that they put into consideration his physical health–whether or not he could survive the transplant AND recovery. Even with that into consideration, there were other things like mental health of him and his immediate family. The procedure that he would’ve gone through would have had part of his family member’s (whomever matched blood type, liver size, et. al.) liver grafted to his own liver to let it regenerate.

But he took a turn for the worse not even a week after finding out that he could go on the transplant list. On Christmas Day, as I was driving home from my grandparent’s house, Amy called me to tell me that they were taking him off of dialysis, the transplant list, and essentially let him die peacefully. It was just shocking to hear this, because I mean, it’s her Dad, and even though you know people eventually die, you just still think they’re going to live to be old and grouchy.

Saturday morning he passed away at 7:30 in the morning from his severe liver failure. I still can’t fathom that he’s not here anymore. It’s just the most surreal and intense feeling, knowing that someone has moved on in life… That they’re no longer there. I can’t even begin to fathom the emotions that Amy and her mom are going through, and hell, their family. The wake is going to be on Wednesday, and the funeral on Thursday. It’s going to be hard to get through those two days, because I’m already emotional over it. To see their grief, pain, sadness is going to tear me apart.

It’s just hard because you don’t know what to say, or do.. You can just be there and hope that it’ll provide some sort of comfort for them. Even if it’s just for a few minutes.


  1. Sorry to hear about your friend’s dad, Jordan.

    Hopefully the spirit of the new year will help perk you and your friend’s family up 🙂

  2. You’re right, the best thing you can do is just to be there for comfort. It must not have been an easy thing to do to take one’s father off the list and your friend is very brave for doing so. I think it’s just a good time now to remind her how brave and how strong she can be.

  3. I’m so sorry to hear that Jordan, and especially since he would have been like a father to you as well. Best wishes for his family.

  4. That’s a sad news for your bestfriend. Losing someone who is very important like your parents is really sad and it’s so hard to accept. Yes, you’re right the best thing that you can do is to comfort her and to show her that you truly love her. I think that’s more than enough!

  5. Wow…I agree, something like this is definitely hard to wrap your mind around, especially if it happens to a close friend.

    I remember back in college my roommate’s mother called to tell her that her aunt (one that had been super close with her) had died suddenly. She collapsed in my arms completely wrought with grief and all I could do was hug her.

    You feel so helpless when all you want to do is help them conquer the situation…I think though that just being there for them is doing more than we believe at the time.

    My thoughts are with your friend and her family, and you too. *hugs*

  6. It’s hard to know how someone is going to need you when they are grieving. I think it’s just important to let them know that you’re there for them. It’s so sad to lose a family member, especially one like a father. Death is never easy, but it’s so much more horrible when it’s someone that close to you.

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