Return to Sender

What would you do if your ex-boyfriend from almost two years ago “remails” you a letter that his current girlfriend wrote to you? Do you just toss it into the trashcan? Or do you do something with it?

Letter from Kat

Transcibe of the letter
Jordan,
I hope that when
you grow up
you can forgive
yourself for being
absolutely
awful
as a kid… xo

I opted for the option to do something with it. Now mind you, I haven’t been with this ex-boyfriend in almost one and a half years, so it’s not something that bothered me. Although I do find it hilarious that his girlfriend is so bothered with my [non]existence that she took the time to do this. The most effort I put towards her was disliking her very existence about two years ago. She was sending Chris these pathetic letters, and some weird fucked up puppet. I knew she was bad news for any relationship.

Though I suppose I should explain why the letter was no surprise to me. About a year or so ago, I befriended Amanda. She happened to date Chris shortly after I moved out of the apartment in June of 2006. They were having problems, so I was there to console her and give her needed advice. Chris has this tendency to channel his inability to remain faithful, to the internet. So it was only a matter of time until that happened to her as it did with me. This affair was with Kat the Krude. I felt protective of Amanda for some reason, so I went to her rescue when Kat was trying to smear Amanda’s name.

I believe this is what struck Kat the Krude’s nerve with me, and left her with pent up hatred towards me. In February of this year, Amanda was telling me about how Kat was writing some letters to us, and was going to include some Chicago Bears stickers. Amanda and I joked about what we would do if we got the letters, but fortunately for me, at that time I never received it.

Now it’s October 23rd and my mom hands me a letter. My address was comparable to the penmanship of a first grader, but I ignored the return address and the post office routing information. I opened the envelope and staring back at me was a ransom’esque letter that could have only been created by that of a fucking loony bat. I glanced at the return address,Ashford, CT, and then noticed the routing information, Louisville, KY. It was easy to deduce that either Chris finally mailed this puppy off, or Kat the Krap noticed her pathetic excuse of a boyfriend never sent it to me and decided to do it for him, EIGHT MONTHS LATER.

So, when I receive a letter from an ex-boyfriend’s current girlfriend, I laugh. Then I get a ligher, ashtray, and sandwich baggy. Then I set the letter on fire, bag up the ashes, and then mail it back to the ex, to hand off to whomever he pleases. Okay, the real answer was that I did it because I knew it would make a great blog post, but I figured they’ll get a kick out of it when I mail it back.

Want to see the pictures?

Kat's Letter

Kat's Letter

Kat's Letter

Kat's Letter

Kat's Letter

Kat's Letter

Kat's Letter

Kat's Letter

Kat's Letter

Kat's Letter

Kat's Letter

Kat's Letter

Kat's Letter

Kat's Letter

Kat's Letter

Kat's Letter

Kat's Letter

Kat's Letter

Kat's Letter

There’s also the tag, katsletter I set up at my Flickr account.

23 Comments

  1. Wow, that is really sad and pathetic of her. Burning pictures are awesome, and so is mailing it to him haha. I wonder if a response will be made?

  2. his taste in women has been degraded since dating me, haha. that way both jordan and i get to be in the “positive, non-trash” column.

  3. I’d love to get a letter from an ex’s current girlfriend, I think I would enjoy it as much as you. Great pictures and the note you wrote – the PS: the link – Awesome πŸ˜€

  4. LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow, she is so pathetic to take the time to make a fancy letter like that. Just goes to show that she is the one who needs to grow up.

  5. Yay for letter burning! I would totally do that, especially if it’s with a girl who won’t leave you alone.

    I don’t really get the last part though. What did she mean by saying that he was “solutly awful as a kid…”?

  6. Merinn, the letter was addressed to me. I’m not a guy.

    I don’t truly know what her letter was supposed to mean though. So I really can’t explain why she wants me to forgive myself for being absolutely awful as a kid.

  7. Omg, You are a ledgend, I enjoyed reading this blog, and the pictures, which told an intresting story to the firey depths of hell for the paper (:

    She must really be busy todo that. 😐 I bet she had to get it perfect, That letters was no doubt the forth attempt.

  8. Wow that girl must have had no life if she decided to use letters from magazines to write a letter. I love the way you handled the letter, especially sending back the ashes. Touché!

Comments are closed.